I never knew there were so many things to worry about. I thought that handling all of the intricacies of raising a singleton would be overwhelming, but twins are an entirely different party. I worry about these things, most of the time:
1) Fostering their individuality while preserving the specialness of their twin relationship.
I recognize that they will, in fact, be individuals, but I worry about them being grouped together too much. On the other hand, I worry that one of them will be left out in some social situations and what that will do. I don't want to dress them alike too much because I want to foster their individuality but I want them to be able to dress alike if they want to do so. I just go back and forth and it seems so complicated. I know all we can do is try to do the right thing.
2) Someone hurting them.
I know it is irrational to suppose that they will never be hurt. They will run and they will fall. These are actually good things to experience. You learn to pick yourself up again. But I worry about meanness and intent. I worry that kids will make fun of them because they have two moms. I worry about all of this while I know, intellectually, that kids will find something to make fun of another kid about regardless of reality. Kids will make fun of other kids. This just is. We have to prepare our kids, support their sense of self and teach them to stand up for themselves.
3) Not knowing what to do.
I am comforted by knowledge. I wrap myself up in information like a blanket. I definitely believe that knowledge is power. Not knowing what to do scares me. We have bought so many books and read them, discarded the ones that contained absolutes, and reread the ones that made sense to us. I am reading blog after blog and trying my best to prepare for something that you can never truly prepare for in life, children. I know they will surprise me at every turn and all that turning might make me dizzy. How do I combat the vertigo? I hope to find the information I need and trust myself to trust my instincts.
All in all, there is an innumerable amount of stuff to worry about. What I have to do is keep the anxious part of myself in check and let the rational part lead the way.